i’m in a ton of mutual follows with super cool people that I never talk to
(via fake-mermaid)
waIT THE MACARENA IS ABOUT A GIRL CHEATING ON HER BOYFRIEND WITH TWO OF HIS FRIENDS AND THEN ASKING A BUNCH OF OTHER GUYS TO COME SLEEP WITH HER?????!?!?!?!?!?!?
AYYYYY MACARENA
(via k1mkardashian)
it’s dark. you hear a noise from somewhere in your house so you go to investigate. you cautiously open a closed door and turn on the light. inside, you see him. zac efron. he is putting plastic heads in every game box you own. “you gotta get your head in the game” he whispers, staring intently at your own head with a frightening look in his eyes.
how to get a girl wet in one easy step
- push her into a pool
(via ms-nobooty)
do you ever get into one of those situations where you’re like “I need to stop hating this particular person it’s not going to get me anywhere I’m just going to grow up and move on with my life” but then they do the tiniest thing to piss you off and then you’re like “nope fuck you right off I want to throw you off a bridge”
(via ayyitskimberlay)
That awkward moment when you ran up the stairs and now you’re trying to hide your heavy breathing like it’s no big deal but you’re actually pretty winded and dear god you need to work out.
(via ohitskimmi)
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you
Omfg
(via hoyitschristian)
ah yes i have finally found it
the g spot
Done
(via brianek)
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
(via geenigguh)
*throws $20 bill at stripper* hey can I have the change
(via isteventraan)
